Relating Requires Self Work
Recently in session a person I work with said ” It’s not meant to be hard, it should just happen naturally”. They were referring to relationships and it wasn’t the first time I have heard something along these lines from someone struggling with their relationship!
Chasing or running.. maybe both
Chasing something and running from something are often coming from deeply routed beliefs of value and worth.
As a coach often people come to me in the hope they can bypass the process, the feelings and just get the end result they want by chasing it and running after it with tunnel vision.
Do you doubt yourself? Never know what the right thing to do is! You are not alone lots of people feel this, many of my clients feel it and I have experienced this in my own personal life too (during rocky times I still can).
Recovery … What is it all about?
Recovery, from working with people and having a number of lived experiences I see it differently to how I once did. I have now come to believe that for most of our adult lives, many of us are recovering from something.
People are always doing their best
Through years of working with people from all sorts of backgrounds and even more years working on my own “stuff” I have (at times reluctantly) grown to believe we are all doing our best, in any given moment. Which means that others are also always doing their best.
Relationship boundaries : In a group work setting, we usually develop a set of boundaries called a group agreement. When we have these, it allows everyone in the group to feel held and hold each other in a way that creates safety.
Closed relationships are the mainstream style of relationship that we hear about. They are a very traditional way to love here in Ireland. However open relationships are also something experienced by many these days, even though they may not fit the status quo.
Sexual Entitlement in Relationships
Often when we become sexually intimate with someone we transfer the responsibility of our sexual satisfaction to the other. This is the basis to sexual entitlement. I am not sure if it comes from the way different society’s see relationships and sex. Perhaps its that most of us unconsciously tend to make other people responsible for our experiences within relationships such as our happiness or safety or self worth.
Self compassion comes hardest to us when we need it most. When we have done something we are ashamed of, or fallen short off the mark we feel we need to meet, or have gone against are own values or aren’t who we thought we “should” be.
Mental Health Senior Cycle
The mental health of Senior Cycle and Leaving Certificate can impact the mental and emotional well-being of students dramatically.
Attempting to meet the expectations they have of themselves, from teachers and parents can all have an impact on their self-esteem and ability to manage stress effectively.