“People are always doing their best”

People are always doing their best

Through years of working with people from all sorts of backgrounds and even more years working on my own “stuff” I have (at times reluctantly) grown to believe  we are all doing our best, in any given moment. Which means that others are also always doing their best.

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Relationship Boundaries

Relationship Boundaries

Relationship boundaries : In a group work setting, we usually develop a set of boundaries called a group agreement. When we have these, it allows everyone in the group to feel held and hold each other in a way that creates safety.

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Open or closed relationships?

Closed relationships are the mainstream style of relationship that we hear about. They are a very traditional way to love here in Ireland. However open relationships are also something experienced by many these days, even though they may not fit the status quo.

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Sexual Entitlement in Relationships

Sexual Entitlement in Relationships

Often when we become sexually intimate with someone we transfer the responsibility of our sexual satisfaction to the other. This is the basis to sexual entitlement. I am not sure if it comes from the way different society’s see relationships and sex. Perhaps its that most of us unconsciously tend to make other people responsible for our experiences within relationships such as our happiness or safety or self worth.

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The Power Of Self Compassion

Self compassion

Self compassion comes hardest to us when we need it most. When we have done something we are ashamed of, or fallen short off the mark we feel we need to meet, or have gone against are own values or aren’t who we thought we “should” be.

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Case Study: Stress & Overwhelm

Case Study: Married, Business Owner, 30’s – Attended Workshop
“I was very stressed and overwhelmed with emotions that I felt I could no longer handle on my own, and needed someone to guide me in the right direction.

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A Quick Read – Self Love


TALK TO YOURSELF WITH LOVE
Brene does it again, compassion & love is incomplete if it doesn’t include yourself!!! Too many of us practice it with others but use our harsh inner voice to navigate our own inner dialog.
Let that go, breath a little & let things be a little less perfect than your inner critic is comfortable with.
Happiness doesn’t come from accomplishing everything or from criticising yourself.
It comes from loving self talk.
if you struggle at first, simply ask yourself would it be OK for me to say this to someone I love? If not … it’s not OK to say it to myself.
#blog #selfawareness #self #compassion #personaldevelopment

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A Quick Read – Honesty & Intimacy


“Lying is about controlling someone else’s reality hoping that what they don’t know won’t hurt you” Neill Strauss
Honesty is more than just not lying though. It”s sharing our feelings, thoughts, experiences & authenticity!
In an accurate & vulnerable way rather than contrived, controlled or prescribed way.
It’s about showing what’s under our reactions, our masks, our defenses and truly allowing ourselves be seen in that moment.
To take the words from the comedy The Love Guru …. IN TO ME I SEE …. put that in relation to another & IN TO ME I SEE & that is what I share with you.
Not my ideal self, not my perceived self, not my pretty self but my authentic self compassionately as it unfolds.

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Coaching reflections – Anger is Healthy

ANGER IS HEALTHY
#Anger is healthy, it says to us to stop, check in with ourselves & see what’s going on underneath.
Anger isn’t bad, often when we don’t understand our anger or connect to it, we react to it in a destructive way, either imploding or exploding.
Anger is a sign post it’s time to look at how we feel and what we need in that moment … To develop awareness rather than work our anger out on others or ourselves.
Imploding looks like passive aggression, inner critic, self blame etc
Exploding looks like blaming, aggression, attacking etc.
At any point we can do either or both!
How we use anger is a choice, it can be destructive or productive … your relationship with anger is where that choice is made.
You start by acknowledging the anger, identifying the triggering event, reflecting on your feelings & asking yourself

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Needs Reflections …

It’s not always easy to know what we want in life, relationships or careers when we struggle to know what we need.
To know what we need we have to start hearing the requests behind our emotions without drowning them out with shoulds, others needs, busyiness, blaming or being reactive.

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