Chasing or running.. maybe both
Chasing something and running from something are often coming from deeply routed beliefs of value and worth.
As a coach often people come to me in the hope they can bypass the process, the feelings and just get the end result they want by chasing it and running after it with tunnel vision.
Do you doubt yourself? Never know what the right thing to do is! You are not alone lots of people feel this, many of my clients feel it and I have experienced this in my own personal life too (during rocky times I still can).
Recovery … What is it all about?
Recovery, from working with people and having a number of lived experiences I see it differently to how I once did. I have now come to believe that for most of our adult lives, many of us are recovering from something.
People are always doing their best
Through years of working with people from all sorts of backgrounds and even more years working on my own “stuff” I have (at times reluctantly) grown to believe we are all doing our best, in any given moment. Which means that others are also always doing their best.
Relationship boundaries : In a group work setting, we usually develop a set of boundaries called a group agreement. When we have these, it allows everyone in the group to feel held and hold each other in a way that creates safety.
Closed relationships are the mainstream style of relationship that we hear about. They are a very traditional way to love here in Ireland. However open relationships are also something experienced by many these days, even though they may not fit the status quo.
Sexual Entitlement in Relationships
Often when we become sexually intimate with someone we transfer the responsibility of our sexual satisfaction to the other. This is the basis to sexual entitlement. I am not sure if it comes from the way different society’s see relationships and sex. Perhaps its that most of us unconsciously tend to make other people responsible for our experiences within relationships such as our happiness or safety or self worth.
Self compassion comes hardest to us when we need it most. When we have done something we are ashamed of, or fallen short off the mark we feel we need to meet, or have gone against are own values or aren’t who we thought we “should” be.
Mental Health Senior Cycle
The mental health of Senior Cycle and Leaving Certificate can impact the mental and emotional well-being of students dramatically.
Attempting to meet the expectations they have of themselves, from teachers and parents can all have an impact on their self-esteem and ability to manage stress effectively.
Sometimes To Do lists are crap
Often they are a big list of what others expect or want from us or what we think we should do rather than to benefit us to do.
I went to Sile for coaching, I had never been to coaching before but had tried 2 different counselors.
I was missing confidence in myself and in all walks of life. I couldn’t see any successes and wins in my life or business.
I have to share this!! Its handy for anyone who gets anxious in social situations, never felt like they ‘fitted in’ or compares themselves to everyone else, Brené Brown has this Authenticity Manifesto that is POWERFUL!
Case Study: Married, Business Owner, 30’s – Attended Workshop
“I was very stressed and overwhelmed with emotions that I felt I could no longer handle on my own, and needed someone to guide me in the right direction.
TALK TO YOURSELF WITH LOVE
Brene does it again, compassion & love is incomplete if it doesn’t include yourself!!! Too many of us practice it with others but use our harsh inner voice to navigate our own inner dialog.
Let that go, breath a little & let things be a little less perfect than your inner critic is comfortable with.
Happiness doesn’t come from accomplishing everything or from criticising yourself.
It comes from loving self talk.
if you struggle at first, simply ask yourself would it be OK for me to say this to someone I love? If not … it’s not OK to say it to myself.
#blog #selfawareness #self #compassion #personaldevelopment
“Lying is about controlling someone else’s reality hoping that what they don’t know won’t hurt you” Neill Strauss
Honesty is more than just not lying though. It”s sharing our feelings, thoughts, experiences & authenticity!
In an accurate & vulnerable way rather than contrived, controlled or prescribed way.
It’s about showing what’s under our reactions, our masks, our defenses and truly allowing ourselves be seen in that moment.
To take the words from the comedy The Love Guru …. IN TO ME I SEE …. put that in relation to another & IN TO ME I SEE & that is what I share with you.
Not my ideal self, not my perceived self, not my pretty self but my authentic self compassionately as it unfolds.
ANGER IS HEALTHY
#Anger is healthy, it says to us to stop, check in with ourselves & see what’s going on underneath.
Anger isn’t bad, often when we don’t understand our anger or connect to it, we react to it in a destructive way, either imploding or exploding.
Anger is a sign post it’s time to look at how we feel and what we need in that moment … To develop awareness rather than work our anger out on others or ourselves.
Imploding looks like passive aggression, inner critic, self blame etc
Exploding looks like blaming, aggression, attacking etc.
At any point we can do either or both!
How we use anger is a choice, it can be destructive or productive … your relationship with anger is where that choice is made.
You start by acknowledging the anger, identifying the triggering event, reflecting on your feelings & asking yourself